25 Ways To Ask Your Kids “So how was school today?” Without Asking them “So how was school today?”

NOTE:  This Post is now an APP that is available for purchase for 99 cents.  Every weekday all year round it will provide you with a different question to ask your kids…and none of the questions are “So how was school today?”  🙂  You can find the APP HERE

This year Simon is in 4th grade and Grace is in 1st grade and I find myself asking them every day after school, “So how was school today?”.

And everyday I get an answer like “fine” or “good” which doesn’t tell me a whole lot.

AND I WANT TO KNOW A WHOLE LOT!!!!

Or at get at least a full sentence.  So the other night I sat down and made a list of more engaging questions to ask about school.  They aren’t perfect…but I do get at least complete sentences…and some have lead to interesting conversations…and hilarious answers…and a few insights into how my kids think and feel about their time at school.

25 Ways to ask your kids how was school

#1.  What was the best thing that happened at school today?  (What was the worst thing that happened at school today?)

#2.  Tell me something that made you laugh today.

#3.  If you could choose who would you like to sit by in class?  (Who would you NOT want to sit by in class?  Why?)

#4.  Where is the coolest place at the school?

#5.  Tell me a weird word that you heard today.  (Or something weird that someone said.)

#6.  If I called your teacher tonight what would she tell me about you?

#7.  How did you help somebody today?

#8.  How did somebody help you today?

#9.  Tell me one thing that you learned today.

#10.  When were you the happiest today?

#11.  When were you bored today?

#12.  If an alien spaceship came to your class and beamed up someone who would you want them to take?

#13.  Who would you like to play with at recess that you’ve never played with before?

#14.  Tell me something good that happened today.

#15.  What word did your teacher say most today?

#16.  What do you think you should do/learn more of at school?

#17.  What do you think you should do/learn less of at school?

#18.  Who in your class do you think you could be nicer to?

#19.  Where do you play the most at recess?

#20.  Who is the funniest person in your class?  Why is he/she so funny?

#21.  What was your favorite part of lunch?

#22.  If you got to be the teacher tomorrow what would you do?

#23.  Is there anyone in your class that needs a time out?

#24.  If you could switch seats with anyone in the class who would you trade with?  Why?

#25.  Tell me about three different times you used your pencil today at school.

*****

So far…my favorite answers have come from questions #12. #15, and #21.

I actually love questions like the “alien” one (#12).  They give kids a non-threatening way to say who they would rather not have in their class, and open the door for you to have a discussion to ask why, potentially uncovering issues you didn’t know about before.

And the answers we get are sometimes really surprising. When I asked question #3, I discovered that one of my children didn’t want to sit by a best friend in class anymore — not out of a desire to be mean or bully, but in the hope they’d get the chance to work with other people. 

Sometimes we just need to figure out the right kinds of questions to ask our children….some questions may work better for some kids than others.  That’s how it is with my own children.  But I want to know what is going on in their lives and how I can help them.  So….I will continue to ask…and ask…and ask…

And, as my kids get older I know that I am going to have to work harder and harder to stay engaged with them…but I know its going to be worth the work…

-liZ

NOTE:  Because these questions were geared for elementary school aged children I have also made another list for teen age children that you can find here:  25 Ways to Ask Your Teen “How Was School Today?” without asking them “How Was School Today?”

****Also, to get a printable version of this list just click here:  25 Ways To Ask Your Kids So How Was School Today Printable

NOTE:  There is also a companion post for this post that you can find here:  17 Tips for Communicating with Kids

17 Tips for Communicating With Your Kids

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Comments

    • says

      I’m going to share this excellent list with my school district. I couldn’t help thinking as I read this that it’s also a useful tool for adult children, and husbands whose answer to “How was your day?” is “Fine.”

    • Nancy says

      My daughter is 26 now, but I still use the techniques today that I learned from an indispensable parenting book, “How to talk so children will listen, and listen so children will talk” by Adele Faber. A simple, no nonsense, book that helped open and keep the lines of communication flowing, without having to ask so many questions that end in one word replies.

  1. Veronica says

    Thanks for the help! My husband and I have been trying to get our children to elaborate on their day at school as well. One other one I asked recently was “So, did they serve pig’s feet at lunch today?” My daughter gave me the strangest look and said, “No, we had grilled cheese sandwiches!”

  2. Heather says

    These are terrific! Thanks! I asked DD what the worst part of the day was and she said, “When the recess line-up bell rang while she was going potty.” It led to a good conversation about what to do if they left before she got there.

  3. TK says

    Fun! You could also adjust some of those for the adults in the family when asking each other the otherwise banal “how was work today?”

    • says

      YES! My husband tells his friends the funniest work stories, but I want to figure a way to get him to share them with me each night. Some of these questions might do the trick!

      • says

        I was thinking along the same lines as you. I think for me, though, is that he doens’t know what to share – so being specfic, by tweaking some of these questions, will get me a little more info! And when I want him to feel better about his day, I’m using #14.

  4. says

    I love this! Thank you for these awesome questions. I usually ask the basic “What did you do today?” and would get “The same thing we did yesterday.” One Monday after school I asked and got the same answer. I responded in surprise, “Your teacher took your class to church today!” My daughter laughed and said, no, and then started to tell me about her day.:)

  5. Katy says

    I love the questions about who did they help and who helped them! I will definitely need to start asking that to get them thinking more about it.

  6. says

    Such a good idea! I’m going to try this today. It might even be fun to write them down and have my son pick out of a jar. It’s like pulling teeth to get my son to give details about his day sometimes!

  7. Susan Diehl says

    These are wonderful “open ended” inquiries, a wonderful gift to all family members. I will introduce them, with appropriate modification, to conversations with my sweetie husband!

  8. Marcia Haley says

    I may be hypersensitive…but I thought Questions 3, 12, 23 sounded/encouraged negativity and could encourage bullying. Did any ne else get that vibe? The others were awesome.

    • Tracey says

      I think it would be wrong to leave out those questions. Think of it on the other hand; what if your child is the one being bullied and is reluctant to talk about it? This might be a way to initiate that difficult conversation to gain insight into his or her world. At the very least you miss the opportunity to teach your children the importance of each individual’s uniqueness, and their own tolerance and acceptance if they never answer these more “negative” questions.

    • liZ says

      Marcia,

      Actually those questions were put in for the very reasons that Tracey and Gina who commented below pointed out. Rarely will children come home and explain that another student is picking on them unless the problem is severe and even then….

      But questions like the alien give them a non threatening way to say who they would rather not have in there class and opens the door for you to have a discussion to ask why.

      And the answers to these “negative” questions may surprise you. By asking a “negative” question I discovered that one of my children didn’t want to sit by their best friend in class anymore. Not because they didn’t like them or wanted to be mean and bully them but rather because they wanted a chance to get to work with other people. Once I had that information I was able to talk to the teacher and have a simple change made.

      Sometimes we have to ask both sides of a question to find out what our children really need.

    • says

      Yes, I found a few of these questions negative. “Who would you like beamed out of school” presupposes that there should be someone that is unliked. As a teacher I would rather see more open ended questions that allows a whole range of answers. Did you think today went fast, slow or usual? Why do you think that is? Did anything or anyone surprise you today? If you were going to give today a “grade”, what would it be? Why?

      • Joy says

        I think we need to get back to basics. The reality is, as human beings, we will never like everyone!!!! Relax! It’s ok to not like someone else and we should acknowledge that this a very real and normal human concept. Stop making our kids feel bad about themselves because they don’t like everybody!! It’s more about how you handle those human emotions and less about trying to deny they exist naturally in the first place.

    • jaclyn says

      You could look at it that way…or as a way for them to open up about their relationships at school. I personally think that there is too much emphasis on everyone all being friends and if you and another person just don’t click in a best buddy way, then one of you is a bully. Bullying is intentionally being mean, hurtful, violent, or disrespectful. Just because there is someone in the class that our daughter wouldn’t want to sit next to doesn’t make her a bully, especially if you don’t know the ‘why’ behind it. These sort of questions give theme an opportunity to open up about their peers and, in turn, give us an opportunity to help them learn how to best navigate the muddy waters of relationships and feelings with respect and kindness.

    • Caryn F. says

      I thought the opposite about questions 3, 12, and 23. I think all of the questions are a way to see inside their world. Your child might be getting picked on by another kid, and feel like they don’t have a way to tell you about it. Or, they might be the ones being mean to another child, or having issues/drama/misunderstandings with other kids. This is a great conversation starter to figure out what is going on. I had to use questions like this last school year to figure out that my daughter was getting treated badly by a few kids. Thankfully, she opened up to me. I was able to speak to the moms of the 2 kids who were being mean to her, and then we sat down with our kids and had a chat together. The kids were able to see that their behavior wasn’t okay, forgiveness was given, and things have been better since. The mom of one of the mean girls thought her kid would never do anything like this, but also admitted that her daughter didn’t talk to her about anything. I had to tell her that I witnessed it myself before she believed me. All this to say, the questions are great, and please, please ask them. Get your kids talking to you. It’s the only way to truly know what is going on in their world.

  9. Gina says

    I don’t think the negative questions encourage negativity (unless the parent does), but rather helps clue you in to who your child may be having a conflict with and how to problem solve it with them instead of have them get picked on or lash out at someone. We play worst/best/learned each eve give during dinner when everyone, including the adults has to say the worst part if their day, best part, and something they learned. Makes us have to think and reflect too.

  10. Becka says

    This might be the most useful thing I’ve ever read on any blog. Thank you so much for sharing!! I struggle with conversation in the car on the way home from school every day. This year is going to be a lot more interesting – thanks!

  11. Jamie says

    This is a great list.
    I was at a loss how to get my kids to talk to me about school and now that the oldest are almost in high school, it’s getting even harder. I watched the movie, The Story of Us with Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer and in it they did something called “high/low.” I turned it into my own thing and called it “good thing/bad thing.” The kids can have 2 good things, or one good thing/one bad thing, but they can’t have 2 bad things, there has to be something positive about their day. And after each thing, we can discuss it from there. I make it a point to ask every night at dinnertime and now it’s such a radition, the kids get mad when I forget.

  12. MV says

    with my kindergartener and preschooler, at the beginning of the year I tell them in the morning that I am going to ask them to tell me the name of one new person in their class. I did this because they were telling me they were playing with kids and didn’t know their names. It has helped and I have at least learned the names of a few of the kids they are becoming friends with and then we can talk about the new person and what they are like.

  13. MV says

    great list. I have a kindergartener and one in Pre-K. During the first few weeks of school on random mornings I told them that when they get home I want them to tell me the name of one new kid in their class. I did this because they were telling me they playing with kids but didn’t know their names. They were excited to come home and tell me who they met and I would ask them all about the new kid. Was fun to see what they had to say about them and I got to know a little about a few of the kids they were hanging out with.

  14. says

    This is a fantastic list! I started doing this last year with my 1st grader because I got “fiiiine” the first time I asked how her day was and had a quick flashback to being bombarded by my mom as soon as I walked in the door with the same question every day.
    I also learned, a key component to the success of this strategy is timing. If ask my daughter as I pick her up from school I get grunts and monosyllabic answers, or “I don’t know” or “I forget.” If I wait a few hours to ask about her day, I get much more engaged conversation and more detailed answers. She needs time to decompress like I do when coming home from work.

  15. Sandy says

    Thank you so much for this list. I have been trying to get my daughter to tell me about her day and get the same answer “good”. This will be so helpful this year.

  16. Julie Tsaruhas says

    Do you mind adding a list to get your parents interested in what you to say about school when they are the ones that prefer for you to say “good”?

    • Annie says

      I’m so sorry your parents aren’t listening to you the way they should, and the way you deserve. Maybe talk with a school counselor about how you’re feeling? All the best to you.

  17. Brittany says

    If my daughter grows up to be anything like I was, she will answer “I don’t know” to every one of these questions. Hopefully she won’t be anything like the bratty child I was.

  18. Laurie says

    I think these are great! I love the idea of putting them in a jar! As for some of them being negative, I think it’s negative if you only focus on why that student is not liked. If you take it to the next level and talk about how your child could get to know the unliked student better, find things things they have in common, and deal with their frustrations in a positive way, then this question could be extremely helpful. We all have people in our lives that we don’t really like, and it is so important to have the skill of looking for at least one good thing about each of those people and focusing on those things instead of the negative. These questions would be a great way to help our children build that skill and way of thinking.

  19. Allison says

    Great prompt question list! I have a 7th grader who is about to be 13. Was wondering if you or any of your readers have any advice for questions for older kids who are at that age to where they are starting to not talk or not want to share as much? In elementary school, my son was always a talker. He learned at a young age that the answers of “I don’t know”, “nothing”, etc. were not good enough answers for me, but now that he is older it is getting a little more awkward. I want to keep him talking but also don’t want him to feel like I am still using the elementary school year questions. Does that make since? ;-). Any advice or sites would be welcome for this age. Thanks.

    • tlramsay says

      She has a link at the bottom of the post above for teens. You might check it out to see if the questions fit your son’s age better. Good luck! 🙂

  20. Pat says

    I love these. My children are older now, but I used to ask things like this. Did you have to borrow something from someone today? (did someone have to borrow something from you today?) Did someone tell you Thank You today? I usually ended with, “Did someone tell you they loved you today?” And they usually answered, “you did.” that made us both happy.

  21. jeanine says

    We did best and worst with kids at dinner table each night and mom and dad participated also. As teens my kids sometimes requested that if they shared their worst did they always have to elaborate on it as sometimes it was just too difficult. Also we always started with the worst and ended with the best to end on a happy note. My kids really enjoyed this each day.

  22. Karen says

    When my daughter was in middle school (and now in early high school), I started asking questions about her friends and the general social situation: How’s everyone else feeling about …? What’s going on with your friends these days? What’s going on in the dating world at school? What do you think about that? *It’s amazing how much you learn about your child’s perspective and what actually is happening in his or her world this way – not too personal or prying, but the conversations usually do circle back to the child’s experience.

    • Alissa says

      LOVE that! Asking teens about what their friends think or feel is brilliant. Teens are such social animals and generally pretty concerned/focused on the group dyamic and what others are thinking. And I love that asking them about their friends feelings gives them a way to express their own worry or conern indirectly. So great!

  23. says

    Maybe the flaw isn’t in the question but in the fact that it needs to be asked. What if the tables were turned and your child asked you why you send them away all day every day? This list of a gazillion questions is just proof of all that parents are missing. Be with your kids, teach them, learn from them – they will be grown and gone soon enough…

  24. Alexa says

    Those are awesome questions. I had a child psychologist tell me that we parents ask them way too many questions when. We pick them up from school and they say will say fine or good because they feel overwhelmed by all the questions. Possibly but they may not talk to us at all. So I definitely like your more probing questions. Thank you!

  25. Mommer Bommer says

    My son would come home from school and immediately want something to eat. From the time he first started school, he would have to tell me about his day and answer my questions, before he could eat the snack I made for him. This became a special time for both of us. Immediately after the snack he would complete his homework, which enabled us to spend time together as a family. He later went on to become a National Merit Scholar. He went to college in a different state, has a beautiful girlfriend and still calls me daily to talk. I also made it a habit to take him out to lunch regularly. I sacrificed my desires to spend time building the relationship. I did things he wanted to do, even when it meant kicking a football, going to an amusement park and a water park with him, when I was in my early fifties. I didn’t do what everyone else said I should do. I followed my mother’s intuition and in return, he listened and heeded my advice.

  26. Lisa says

    Any suggestions in questions to ask your college student when you call them and they really don’t want to open up just like when they were in High School

  27. Dolores says

    Great questions, I like to ask my grand kids about school but never get much out of them. Think this might be a good way to go at it from a different angle.

  28. Tulla says

    I wrote out 2 questions on each piece of paper in a notebook. Because my son is great with numbers and math, but not so much with writing. So it’ll become part of his daily homework, and after he writes his answers we’ll talk about it.
    I’ve found that when he does write he becomes very proud of what he has written and likes to talk about it.

  29. Carla says

    A few years ago I started asking my daughter’s (now in 4th, 6th & 8th grades) What was the best, worst, funniest and most surprising parts of their days. Since then I’ve added the question of Who would you like to pray for today? This usually takes us longer to answer the questions than it does for us all to eat our dinner. It works well for us.

  30. says

    These are great questions and I am sure they elicit answers rather than the usual “good”, “fine” etc. Years ago I used an almost identical set of questions with my daughter. Pre School children are bit more chalenging, but I think the same principals apply. Nice work!

  31. Donna K. Gottwald says

    Great ideas! But my girls are 21 and 24 now. They have “clammed” up on me and don’t want to tell me any details about their lives in this “season”. They accuse me of “creeping” on them and have blocked me from being Facebook friends. Any ideas?

    • Becka says

      My boring tip to you is to let it be for a while. Your girls are still your daughters -but they are not kids anymore. Your daughters are now grown- ups. Old enough to take care of themselves. If they ask you to back off you as an adult should treat them as adults – and back off for a while.

      If you are not happy with the new rules your daughters have set, please take some time and ask yourself what about it that is making you sad/disapointed/upset/disturbed. Many times it is more about the parent feeling distress about loosing control and meening in life than the young adults not being ready for a life of their own.

      You spent about 20 years in bringing them up, think of the next 20 years as “standing by” ready to reach out. As a parent your love for your kids will not change, but your actions towards them might need to.

      • Ingrid says

        Oh, I just love this one. Mine are still little but it is a good reminder. I do want to control so much of what happens with them and I can’t imagine them moving away and me knowing nothing. Ack! 🙂 I’ll work on it though and be ready when they are. Thank you for your words.

  32. Judith Barsosky says

    Thank you so much. When I taught first grade, I tried to help parents by sending home an info sheet called “Ask me About….”. I listed activities & events that happened that day.

  33. brandon roberts says

    My favorite answer to “what did you do today?” Has to be ” you know dad things and stuff and stuff and things” lol

  34. says

    Thx! I appreciate these and actually before I read this had been using a few without realizing what I was doing! Now I plan to be more intentional about it. I too have a 1st and 4th grader…a preschooler too! These are great!

  35. Mom2Scooter7 says

    Love this article! My child is 12 and we have always done a “tell me about your day” … Every day! “Good” is how strawberries taste and not an acceptable answer. So, she does a “play-by-play” for the entire day and has been doing it now for years. It is most entertaining 🙂

  36. Natalie W says

    We need more, please! My daughter made me ask her 12 of the questions, and said she loved being interviewed and wished she had a coffee mug. Thanks!

  37. Jennifer says

    My son loved this tonight. It was nightly talk before bed. He is calming it school trivia. He said just before falling asleep “I love school trivia” thanks so much for posting these questions

  38. says

    These are great I know there for 5th graders but my son’s in college I run out of questions to ask him. I liked a lot of them. I’m very fortunate that I have a close relationship with my son he’s 21 and we’ve been talking for 21 years. I love it. He will love these questions. Thank you from a college mom who has a kid with a sense of humor. Kimberly

  39. Nicole G says

    Thanks for these questions! My 3 year old just started preschool… I get some information from her but clearly want MORE!!!!!!!!! Im going to ask her these questions today when I pick her up!! I stumbled upon your blog a couple days ago and Im obsessed!!! Your writing is wonderful, I enjoy reading your posts!!

  40. Steph says

    When my daughter started kindergarten last year I would pick her up and ask her 3 questions… What did you have for breakfast? (Every child gets a free breakfast in the district.) What did you have for lunch? What did you learn today? One of these questions nearly always leads to a story about the day, whether it’s who she sat next to in lunch, what story was read in library, or what happened during class.

  41. says

    Love this! I’ve been asking similar questions the last couple of years (2nd and 1st grade boys) just to get some answers that we can dialog on and I can actually learn about their day. We even add in, did anyone else where yellow today, etc.

  42. Betze says

    Thank you for this…I’ve been asking but like you said, all I get is a “good”. I know how much she loves school and I want her to tell me all about it and the kids in her class so that I too can share in her enjoyment!!!! Love your blogs!! Thanks so much….Betze Ballew

  43. tiffany says

    Thanks for the list of great questions! I also love the questions your readers added in the comments. Dinner conversation should be much more interesting tonight and I can’t wait!

  44. Gwen says

    I asked my kids the question about being abducted by aliens yesterday and they wanted to know what the aliens would be doing with them after the abduction. They had different answers depending on whether or not the abductee would be probed or go off and explore the galaxy. My oldest son wanted to be abducted if they were going on an “alien road trip.”

  45. Rachel says

    These are great! I want to add that WHEN you ask makes a difference, too. I am an introvert, and when I came home from school, I just needed 30-45minutes ALONE to unwind. I answered “fine” or “okay” to this question because I didn’t have the energy to really answer it. But by the time dinner rolled around, I was ready to chat! So, know what to ask and WHEN to ask!

  46. Shami says

    Thank you so much for this. I work in the entertainment industry so I tend to work long and odd hours so don’t often get to spend as much time with my 8 year old twin girls as a I’d like to. Also, they’re in boarding school and are only home on the weekends, which is when I often have events, so I’m always looking for a way to make the greates impact I can on our communication in the few hours I have with them. I’ve always tried to make them understand that although mummy is busy, she will always make time to talk and listen to you, so this is a fantastic way to keep our communication channels open, fun and exciting!

  47. Mandy says

    Awesome. I might have to give my K & pre-K kid a question of the day BEFORE school. They’re both really bad at responding “I don’t remember” to school questions… My daughter (age 4) is really bad about names, too! Must be a pre-school thing; they’re too busy playing to exchange names.

  48. Stacy says

    Thank you so much for posting this! I found you through a re-post from the Hands Free Revolution. I was telling a teacher about this and shared the link with her. She loved it so much, she asked if she could share it with the rest of the faculty. By the end of the day, the post was on every teachers’ page on their portal for their parents to see!!

  49. Gloria Groulx McGovern says

    Another good question for your children or grandchildren follows:
    What good question did you ask, today?
    I’ve used this many times.

  50. Saundra says

    Last year my then three year old grandson was telling me about his best friend from school. He had a different name, so I asked him if the friend was a boy. He replied, “yes”. So then I said, do you have a good friend that is a girl? He replied,
    “Why should I , I have two big sisters.”. Since the conversation was uncovering valuable information, I decided to ask one more question. ” Why is he your best friend?”. He replied,”Because he is a good person”

  51. says

    These are great way to ask specific questions to encourage kids to communicate! Excellent job making a list! I usually like to ask kids “What was your favorite part of today?” and “What part did you like the least?” to get them to open up. Usually they have an answer for both. Sometimes, they might not have an answer for one or the other, but they usually answer at least one of them.

  52. Robyn Banks says

    Will be sharing your awesome list with my parents at Curriculum night! Parents need all the help they can get 🙂

    Thanks for sharing!

  53. Henry says

    Tbh, 2 very important questions to ask your child are
    1- what was the conversation about today at lunch/recess
    2- what did you do today during lunch/recess
    You’d be amazed at what you can glean from this all- important free time. Especially the older child.
    Good luck, and God bless!

  54. Nancy says

    My 4 yo’s normal response to how was your day or what did you do is ‘I don’t remember.’ I tried #1 and #14 today and his response to both was “all of it”, he is so cheeky, one day I hope he will elaborate his answers to my questions.

  55. Rebekah says

    I am a professional private tutor, and I’d love to be able to print this article (and the teenage version) for a notebook I keep for parents of my students to browse through while they are waiting for their child. Could you email me a printable copy? I can’t seem to print it from the website b/c it is all formatted wrong for printing. Obviously, I will make sure credit is given to your website so parents will hopefully come check out more!

  56. Andrew Spett says

    Instead of the typical “how was school today” I ask my daughters – “what did you learn that was new and interesting today?”

  57. Phil B says

    These are all good and have used them and variants, such as, “Who did you sit next to a lunch?” and “Did you use a hall pass today?”. But my favorite is, “What questions did you ask today?”

  58. Tiny ZJ says

    I like what I’m reading! Great timing too. My little guy started kindergarten last week. As for the negative questions, they give us parents good information even though we wish the entire class got along. It’s not fun hearing about others they don’t like.. He just told me about another boy he didn’t like yesterday. I hope this will be a boys-being-boys thing. If not, at least I’m aware of it.

  59. mag says

    Yes, I was thinking one of the questions could be presented to the child before school, to have them look for situations and be in tune with activities and come back with the stories. encourages observation. # 5, 7, 8, 9 are just a few.

  60. Chevon says

    I think this was a great idea for us to ask our children these question everyday after school. I do it everyday with all of my children which rank frm kindergarten to high school.

  61. says

    Thank you so much for this list! My 1st grade daughter is not a huge talker after school, but recently I learned that they were playing house and having tea with their alien neighbors at recess. Never would have guessed that!

  62. says

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  63. says

    This is a great list! I’m glad I found it, I’ll have to try them with my preschooler and see if I can get “better” answers then what I have been getting thus far! :o)

  64. Chloe says

    I just want to thank you for posting these crafty tips! I am but a dutiful babysitter but nevertheless find myself in the same situation when I pick my girls up from school – and am still young enough that I remember how much I hated having to answer the same question when I was being picked up from school. For some reason, though, I never considered what I could do to pull better and more thought-provoking responses out of them and am glad this got my wheels turning. It is much appreciated – your kids are lucky to have such an engaged mom!

  65. says

    I love these. My daughter starts kindergarten next week and I am so nervous. Looking forward to asking her a few of these after she gets settled.

  66. says

    Sometimes we just need to figure out the right kinds of questions to ask our children….some questions may work better for some kids than others. That’s how it is with my own children. But I want to know what is going on in their lives and how I can help them. So….I will continue to ask…and ask…and ask…

  67. says

    I love this! Thank you for these awesome questions. I usually ask the basic “What did you do today?” and would get “The same thing we did yesterday.” One Monday after school I asked and got the same answer. I responded in surprise, “Your teacher took your class to church today!” My daughter laughed and said, no, and then started to tell me about her day.:)

  68. says

    I love the questions about who did they help and who helped them! I will definitely need to start asking that to get them thinking more about it.

  69. says

    I’m going to share this excellent list with my school district. I couldn’t help thinking as I read this that it’s also a useful tool for adult children, and husbands whose answer to “How was your day?” is “Fine.”

Trackbacks

  1. […] 25 Ways To Ask Your Kids “So how was school today?” Without Asking them “So how was school tod… :: If you’re only getting ‘fine’ or ‘good’ when you ask your kids about school, try one of these more creative questions instead. […]

  2. […] איך הילדים שלכם עונים על השאלה "איך היה בבית הספר היום" ? הגדולה שלי, בת 16, מתחילה לספר ואי אפשר לעצור אותה. הקטנה, בת 11, עונה "בסדר" ועל הבקשה לפרט עונה "די, אבא!". לכן שמחתי מאד למצוא את הרשימה הבאה, לשים לי אותה בטלפון ולתרגם לעברית. המקור ניתן למצוא כאן. […]

  3. […] I was watching the ABC nightly news on a Friday night. And there was a segment about 25 ways to ask your child their school day without asking, “How was school day?” It was a very resonating piece as I struggle every day to get my son to tell me about his day. I worry about not knowing my child as he begins to discover himself and the world around him. And I’m sure plenty of other parents feel the same way. So check out this piece: 25 ways to ask your child “How was your day?” without asking “How was your day?&#8… […]

  4. […] And if you want more awesome conversation starters, my favorite list that I found had 25 of the funnest questions to get kids sharing their feelings and thoughts. Some of my favorites were If an alien spaceship came to your class and beamed up someone who would you want them to take? And If you got to be the teacher tomorrow what would you do? You can find the rest of the list here. […]

  5. […] Parent bloggers Simple Simon and Company came up with an ingenious listing of 25 ways to ask your kids how was their day in school without asking that question. We know we get the same answer: “fine.” So instead, go with one of theirs. Here are my faves: #1.  What was the best thing that happened at school today?  (What was the worst thing that happened at school today?) #2.  Tell me something that made you laugh today. #3.  If you could choose who would you like to sit by in class?  (Who would you NOT want to sit by in class?  Why?) #7.  How did you help somebody today? #9.  Tell me one thing that you learned today. #10.  When were you the happiest today? #12.  If an alien spaceship came to your class and beamed up someone who would you want them to take? #13.  Who would you like to play with at recess that you’ve never played with before? #16.  What do you think you should do/learn more of at school? #17.  What do you think you should do/learn less of at school? #19.  Where do you play the most at recess? #20.  Who is the funniest person in your class?  Why is he/she so funny? #21.  What was your favorite part of lunch? #23.  Is there anyone in your class that needs a time out? #24.  If you could switch seats with anyone in the class who would you trade with?  Why? Check out the entire list and read the great comments to the post where parents added more suggestions HERE! […]

  6. […] an answer that tells us absolutely nothing. We loved this article from Simple Simon and Company on 25 Ways to ask your kids “so how was school today?” without asking “so how was sch… There are some really fun and creative questions that will definitely get your kids […]

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