Almost 13 years ago I gave birth to what I believed was the most perfect…most beautiful…most amazing creature ever to grace this fair planet with it’s presence….my son Simon. One look into his eyes and I knew I could never love anything more than I did that boy.
But like I said…that was 13 years ago…and that angelic baby is now getting ready to enter junior high…and times have changed.
This 8th wonder of the world is now as tall as I am and his feet are several sizes bigger than mine. A toothless grin has been traded in for a mouth full of braces and smooth skin has been replaced with acne. Listening to him chew has become far less charming and while in days gone by we spent countless hours snuggling in blissful silence on the couch we now spend our time discussing black holes, Minecraft strategies, and the possiblity of writing code using only prime numbers.
When I add all these changes up it can only mean one thing…my son has turned into one of those fantastically awkward teens that I left behind when I said goodbye to my teaching career to stay home and raise this sweet, little, baby boy.
I mean sure, I loved those junior high kids a lot. A whole lot. They were my life but, come on! My precious angel was never going to become one of them!!! They were so wierd and so strange and so so smelly…and while their antics at school entertained me every single day I never intended to have one of those nut jobs living under my roof.
And yet…here we are.
A fact that I realized several months ago and in a moment of clarity decided to embrace it whole heartedly.
That right…I decided to embrace the awkwardness. All of it. Every weirdo beardo minute of it.
And it has been one of the best decision I have ever made.
Sure I have NO IDEA what he is talking about most of the time…but I am listening. And sure I do not understand ANY of what goes on in his lego fight club thing…but I take him to all the meetings and bring treats and make their posters. And even though I don’t sing or dance I went to every single one of his play practices and even made his costume….and then didn’t miss a performance.
This kid of mine…he was only a baby for a small moment and then I blinked and now he is going into junior high. And when I blink again he will be off to college…so while my eyes are wide open I need to take it all in. Every single minute of it…and that includes the mismatched socks, the reminders to shower, and the never ending eating. Luckily it also includes staying up late talking about the universe, rooting him on in new adventures, and watching him discover and develop his strengths.
I know from experience with hours of parent/teacher conferences that most parents try to hold their breath and wait out this unflattering phase of life…but I’m choosing not to do that. I’m going to breath it all in…every stinking, burpy, farty, breath and then hang on for dear life..because I don’t want to miss a single thing.
This child of mine, he is not the same helpless creature that slipped into my arms almost 13 years ago, however one thing is just as true today as it was then…when I look into those eyes, now covered by glasses, I still know I could never love anything more than I love this boy and I still believe with all my heart that he is absolutely amazing.
Oh Simon, you will always have my heart.