Recently I ran across this quote and I loved it. It was the perfect inspiration that came at the perfect time.
At the beginning of the summer I said that our family wasn’t making a summer “bucket list” but instead we were embarking on this idea I had to make our family “healthy, wealthy, and wise”. That idea, however, turned into something even bigger than I had ever imagined.
For weeks my husband and I talked, and talked, and thought, and pondered, and prayed about what our family needed to be healthy, wealthy, and wise….and we made some decisions…some BIG, FAT, NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE decisions. And then we began to work on making those goals we decided upon a reality.
Since that time it seems like we have worked non stop in our home to make it the kind of environment that will be best for our children. One of the things we decided to do was to take our storage room and cut it in half. Then we would turn that extra space into a bedroom. Currently two of our three kids share a room. Which we realize is normal. Both my husband and I shared rooms with siblings growing up. However our middle child, Grace, is really struggling right now and we think would benefit greatly from a space to call her own and by creating an extra bedroom we will be able to shuffle everyone around and in so doing she will have her very own room.
Now I realize making a bedroom out of a portion of a storage room doesn’t sound like a large scale project…but…it has been….and at some point I will explain all the reasons why, the contents of the storage room and what we had to do to make the reshuffling and organizing possible. But not right now. Right now I will tell you that during the height of this project (which my husband and I have done by ourselves because it’s just too expensive to hire the work out) our upstairs bathroom flooded.
Which led to the carpet and padding being removed from two of the adjoining bedrooms….and still hasn’t been replaced.
And before that we found a leak under our master bathroom shower that was causing problems and needed to be torn out and also hasn’t been replaced.
So tonight as I write what you are reading right now I am sitting in my front room next to a giant pile of laundry that needs to be folded on top of a dresser that will go in Simon’s new bedroom, next to a chair that will go in the family room, next to a nightstand that I just carried home from the thrift store that will go in Grace’s room, around the corner from 5 cases of dolls for our online shop, which are next to….well, you get the picture.
My entire home is in disarray.
Complete and utter disarray. It’s a little overwhelming. And honestly, I’ve cried a lot. Often over these past few weeks it has all just seemed like way too much. Every single room is a disaster zone…right now I can’t even walk into my sewing room…and that isn’t even and exaggeration.
I keep telling myself that as it is with many things in life sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. And I know it will get better. I wanted more than anything to have our house back in order before the school year started…but there were deadlines and obligations that needed to be met…so I had to put off what I wanted most. And that was hard too.
But today we ordered our carpet (Only $2.00 a yard from Home Depot!!) and we have a deadline…and soon, oh so very soon new carpet will be laid and I can start the process of putting our home back together…and when we are finished, well…when we are finished I will tell you all about what we did and why we did it.
Until then I keep rereading this quote I started the post with. With my house in chaos I can feel my creativity dwindling. Really and truly I can. With everything so cluttered and crazy I don’t feel inspired to create anything new. And that makes me sad. Very very sad. But I’ve realized that I needed to go on this journey over the past few months, that the changes we’ve made are going to be for the best and when we are finished I will be able to remain steady so I can again return to something I feel like I have slowly been loosing over the past few years…the ability to be fierce and original in my work.
And…I don’t think I would be too far off base to say that I don’t think that I am the only one who has ever or will ever need to under go a renaissance because they too have felt their fiercenes and originality dwindling. Over time clutter builds in our hearts, our homes, and our souls…and at some point it behooves all of us to go through a cleansing process. It just so happens that these past few months have my time to clean house both literally and figuratively not only for myself but for my family. It’s been one of the hardest things that I have ever done…but I tonight as I sit in my carpetless, showerless, chaotic home I am tremendously thankful for when I am today. I have countless hours of work ahead but it all feels down hill from here.
Like I said earlier…one day I will explain more…but for today I am going to remain steady in an effort to become well-ordered again so that I can relight my fire of fierceness and creativity. And I hope that you will to.