At the beginning of last year I wrote a post about my word for 2015.
The word I chose was:
(A word which I still don’t pronounce correctly.)
Araneae is the scientific name for spiders and I chose it for a very specific reason…my goals for last year all revolved around the work of spiders…creating a a safe, beautiful, and practical home for me and mine…but I had no idea when I chose my word what the year would bring.
I know at this time of year most people are doing what I did last year…posting their new years resolutions, words for the year, making goals, etc. etc. etc….and while I looove the beginning of the year, looking ahead, and making plans, right now, I feel more reflective and have spent a lot of time these past two weeks thinking about last year.
Spiders, you know, endlessly toil away building these beautiful webs…built with fiber strong enough to stop a bullet but delicate enough to be destroyed by the touch of a finger. As this year progressed I’ve often thought about these webs as I’ve worked in my own home. As a mother I labor everyday to create a safe haven for my family. A place of peace…a sanctuary. But oh how quickly the best laid plans can change…and when even the smallest of events can ripple into a devastating, destructive disaster our homes at times can become torn…and need to be mended.
As I write this, I am thinking of the struggles this year we have faced as a family…the communication hurdles my youngest faces, the blood disorder that we discovered I have when I suddenly was no longer able to function, financial set backs (why, why, why is it that every time you are “this close” to being out of debt another calamity strikes?), the reading struggles of my middle child, numerous (NUMEROUS) trips to the hospital, the loss of family members, and my list could go on…as I’m sure your’s could as well. None of us has cornered the market on struggle. We all know what it is like to have our webs torn and to be hanging on by a thread.
But we can always rebuild.
Because, like the spider, we as mothers build our homes from fiber so strong it can never be broken. Mangled? Yes. Damaged? Sure. Looking sad and sorry? You better believe it. But never broken beyond repair.
So many tears were shed this year. Over my extended family, my children, and even myself. But over the past two weeks as my husband and I have finished projects that were too large for us to take on (and which I will be posting about over the next few months) I saw our hard work begin to pay off. And as we were able to spend time together as a family unit over the holidays I saw something even more important than the fruits of our labors…I saw a group of people…that I love more than anything…safe inside our sanctuary…at peace..and enjoying one another’s company.
And so I don’t mind getting back to work everyday…taking my horse pills…sorting that laundry…supporting those kids…because everyday I’m building a web that unifies my tiny family with a bond that can not be broken.
It’s funny. I started writing this post thinking about last year but as I am finishing up I suddenly know what my word for 2016 needs to be:
Yes, continue. I’m not done….there is much much more web building that needs to happen this year…and like my creepy little eight legged friends I just need to keep at it…even when (especially when) the web gets damaged.